A one-sided relationship is a bad relationship, right? Not necessarily, says Elaine Auyoung. She’s interested in what are called parasocial relationships, where we know and care a lot about someone but they don’t directly engage with us – like a celebrity, for example, or even a fictional character. While parasocial relationships are often thought of as inferior to regular person-to-person relationships, Elaine argues that they have a unique value. Precisely because there’s no reciprocation, parasocial relationships can allow us to engage with other people’s experiences without the obstacles of social anxiety or self-centredness.
Bonus clip
Works mentioned
– Video of the Heider-Simmel illusion, 1944
– Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice
– Interview with Claudia Rankine, New York Times, 26 November 2020
– Samin Nosrat’s podcast Home Cooking (with Hrishikesh Hirway) and Netflix show Salt Fat Acid Heat
Further reading
Brittany Wong at Huffington Post – Wait, What The Heck Is A ‘Parasocial Relationship’?
Sarah Hagi at Gawker – Twitter has a parasocial relationship with the word parasocial
Elaine Reese at The Conversation – Missing your friends? Rereading Harry Potter might be the next best thing
Rachel Aroesti at The Guardian – Tragic but true: how podcasters replaced our real friends
Stitch at Teen Vogue – On Parasocial Relationships and the Boundaries of Celebrity
Emma Garland at Vice – The Reign of the ‘Relatable’ Celebrity Is Over
Daniel Jones at The New York Times – The 36 Questions That Lead to Love